thoughts on this saturday

It's Saturday, the second to last day of May. The school year has now been done for over a week. I've got my classroom cleaned and all my grades done. I've "checked out" at school for the summer. But I won't be gone for long. I'm going to be working up at the school this summer typing up learning objectives for reaccrediation next spring. Not really sure how long its going to take, but it's nice having a way to make money this summer. Today I'm doing my laundry over at Kate and Dave's house. I'm just chilling out watching TV. On the drive over here, my car started making some weird noises. I hope that it's just because it was a little overworked going so fast for about 20 minutes. I'm hoping that it doesn't make noises on the way back. Let's just say, when I get back from Minnesota later this month, I need to get serious about buying a new car. Otherwise it's going to be another miserable summer with the hot weather. I may end up taking a slower way home, so I don't have to drive so fast. I don't think that's the best thing for me to do in my car when it's hot out. I should also probably check my oil sometime soon. Luckily I'm leaving for Minnesota on Tuesday, so I won't have to worry about driving my car around for a couple of weeks.

I can't really think of anything else insightful to write right now, so I think I'll just end this.

observations

A few months ago (around the start of March) my principal came up with a "Plan for Improvement" for me, after some parent complaints (which the parents never first brought to me). One of the things on the plan was for me to observe the 4th grade teacher 3 times before the end of the year. At the time I wasn't really sure how I was going to do this, since her and I have the same planning periods, meaning the free time that I would have to observe her, she also doesn't have students. There are maybe 1 or 2 times a week, when I'm free and she has students. Anyways, I had pretty much forgotten about the observing. That is until today, when about 5 minutes after I get here in the morning, my pricipal comes in and asks if I've observed the 4th grade teacher yet. I say no and she says that I have to do it before the end of the year. At this point I'm still trying to figure out in my mind when I'm going to do it. This also made for a bad start to the day. Anyways, I later realized that my students have an extra "special" on Thursday afternoons. I decided that I could observe the 4th grade this afternoon. I ask the teacher if this would be okay and she said sure. I then let my principal know this by email. To that she responded that the plan said I have to observe the 4th grade teacher 3 times. I told her that we have the same planning period, so I don't think that I can fit it into my schedule before the end of the year (there is only 1 week left). My principal hasn't responded to that email. I know that I shouldn't have waitied until the last minute, but I honestly had forgotten about having to do the observations until this morning. I also get frustrated because the principal acts like the 4th grade teacher can do no wrong and it the world's best teacher and I know that isn't the case. While I know that I have things to work on, especially in the area of classroom management, I've seen problems with the 4th grade teachers classroom management too. I just feel like the principal thinks that the 4th grade teacher is just the best at everything and that I need to be just like her. Well I'm sorry, but I'm my own person and I have a different teaching style. It's just frustrating because sometimes I feel like I don't do anythingn right. I just do everything wrong and I'll never please anyone.

understanding why???

So for some reason, that last few nights have been kind of difficult for me. Especially last night. It seems like the crying is more frequent and easier. I just don't know why. Some of it's school related stuff. Some of it's relationship stuff. AGAIN!! It never seems to be anything new. I'm sure people are tired of hearing it. But it's just the way it is. This week is teacher appreciation week and it's making me feel kind of bummed. It's just one of those times when I start compare myself to others. I feel like I haven't gotten as many things. I know that we're not supposed to put too much value on material things, but it's just a concrete way for me to know that I'm appreciated. All these thoughts just keep running threw my head. I'm not sure that even some of them make sense. I just wish they did and that I could easily tell them to go away and that I would instantly feel better.